What week we have had....

Conversation when we were watching tv:
When I was in 5 or 6th grade I was able to look at someone and tell if they were Jews. I'm sure I heard someone talk about that Jew. Someone who lived 2 downs from us and he was foreign, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't a Jew. People were jealous of them for having money. The woman were beautiful...

flipping thru the channels ~ stop watch change, it's a cycle..
Me: Oh I like this one the Blacklist...
Her: replies well that is the one I was looking for....
Me: in my head sure you were.... 10 minutes ago you were going to bed
 proceeds to talk thru the whole show... Which is ok, I can watch it on demand tomorrow morning while you sleep...



Our Church's small group meets at our place:
In  group shared she doesn't hold grudges and ask me in front of everyone if this was true..
My eyes got big as I struggled to answer this one in front of everyone..... I finally replied

I don't thing it is fair to ask me in front of everyone, she didn't agree with me said she doesn't hold grudges.

Her:in our house if you told the truth you didn't get in  trouble but if you lied it was much worse...
Me: in my head I must have lived in a different house.......

Fast forward to Friday.......
Granny was doing her own laundry (which I encourage to keep her mobile)
She proceeded to go into her bedroom to put away her clothes. Shutting the door behind her...
Mistake 1. the walker is in the living room
Mistake 2 shutting the bedroom door
Meanwhile I am talking to Hubby on the phone.. yak yak yak & the damn dog won't quit barking...
Hubby suggest putting her special collar on her..
I grab the collar and go after her, she runs away, circles back barking at Granny's door...
I slowly understand the problem, Granny is calling for help! I open the door and she laying on the floor.. I stubbed my toe and fell she says...
I tell Hubby I gotta go.....
I call for the ambulance, move stuff out of the way, grab all her meds, call Shannon, Jane, hubby give an update.... oh and took dinner out of the oven (for once this week I was actually on top of dinner plans)
Granny had xrays which thankfully showed no broken bones.. She hurt her shoulder and collar bone, is sore where she hit the sewing cabinet, basically is in a whole lot of pain....
As we left the house we forgot Granny's shoes and coat, which if we lived anywhere else wouldn't be an issue however it was snowing.....
This morning Granny is still in a lot of pain and will continue to be I believe. There is a possibility of a torn rotator cuff that will need to be checked out....
I'm thankful this week is over & especially thankful Granny didn't break any bones (that we know of), Thankful Shannon came and helped me stay sane,
Oh about the damn dog, it looks like she won't ever move out...... She has earned her place in our home however she will always be the damn dog to me....

It's a new week

So Doris was looking at at my Easter Mini Session card that was laying on the table. She states "Well they better bring their cameras or just forget about it..."
Now I am totally confused with where this conversation is going... "What do you mean?" I asked
She replies "If they don't bring their cameras they need to just go home" "Why do they need their own cameras I ask, I am the one taking their pictures, they are paying for me to take them..."
"What a brilliant idea you have" she responds. She then proceeds to tell her sister what a smart idea it is to take their pictures for them...
Gotta laugh...

Conversation with the Hubby:
When I was younger I wanted to go and bomb every place that sold alcohol... But I'm not in that place anymore....
 hmmm.... Not really sure what to think about that one..

Today:
Her: Well I think I will go to bed..
Me: ok, Tena comes in the morning..
Her: looking blank ~ whose coming
Me: Tena
Her: I don't know who that is...
Me: Tena, your caregiver who cleans your room
 In my head: it's time to check for another UTI... confusion is one of the signs in the elderly...

Friday will be busy with blood work and eye doctor appt.. hoping to talk about cataract surgery soon

It's been a good week so far, I know it  is only Wednesday I still have high hopes for the rest of the week..

March the month I'd like to skip...

It's been a few weeks since I posted. March has been a hard month for me. Thankfully April is almost here. The sun is shining more, hopefully the snow quits, days are longer.. March 1st is the anniversary of my sister Beth's death. It's been (I think) 10 years. We weren't close until she was diagnosed with liver cancer. (don't wait until someone is dying to show your love). I still struggle with the circumstances of that last week. Anyhow to make the week even better 2 days later we celebrate my birthday. I don't really like birthdays. So the plan of the day was dinner @Hobo's in Muskegon with Shannon, Tim, Little L, Granny & Hubby. As I ordered my vodka tonic with lime, granny leans over and ask what I ordered. I replied tonic with lime. She ask, with vodka? I replied I certainly hope so.. Granny doesn't drink, her father was an alcoholic and even tho she has given us permission to have a glass of wine (yes she did say that), I try to be respectful of her feeling about it. Fast forward to the next day:
Granny: I should have stayed home last night...
Me: didn't you have fun?
Granny: yes, but you should have celebrated with your family..
Me: I did! you are part of the family...
She still doesn't see herself as part of our family, I'm trying hard to include her, make her feel included...It's hard to not make it personal.. This was the first birthday since I was 18 she has been with me to celebrate.. It's been a hard month for granny too.
She sleeps the majority of the day & night.. Which I've learned isn't such a bad thing for me. Instead of focusing on how much she sleeps I tend to embrace it.. It's a time I can do anything or just be alone. I am confident once her health issues are fixed she won't be sleeping so much. Last week was her first appt with the heart specialist. We learned her heart is out of rhythm (which makes one tired), her pacemaker is going to need replacing in 6-12months. Granny was talking to someone (everyone) telling them the doctor thought her scar from the breast cancer healed very nice. After hearing this story at least 5 times, I finally spoke up and told her he was talking about her pacemaker scar!!! He wasn't near the other scar.. Yesterday was the appointment for the procedure to put her heart back in rhythm.. Epic fail.... They knock you out, then shock you. they tried it 3 times and it didn't work. Adding another heart med to her list, in a month will shock her again. Little L came over Tuesday, Granny decided she needed to give her a nickname... Pork chop or porky... her reasoning ~ Little L has fat rolls... in my head I said "no wonder I see a counselor, and we need to start a fund for Little L's counseling when she's older.." I told granny she needed to find a better nickname for her. Toots, Luc, and cupcake it is.... she's so sweet I could eat her up... better start that fund next payday.
Took granny to church Wednesday for soups on. Churches in the area provide soups every Wednesday during Lent. She was sitting out in the foyer by herself, I motioned come in with everyone and make a friend... She was observing people (must be why I'm a people watcher) she asked about a man, I told her he's so and so husband. She replied I hope he had good eyesight when he was younger... My head whipped around, What does that mean? She replies well she's very beautiful.... I'm thinking it was a compliment in a backward way...
My Friend Val is working on getting granny to go to the local health club (whatever it's called) to swim.. She's ordered bathing suits for her to try on.. I think once granny gets there she will enjoy it.. it's baby steps getting her in pool.. I'm thankful for friends that reach out to granny....

Feeling a bit whiny today

It has been a very long week.... I have been sick since last Tuesday, sleeping everyday, most of the day. I finally went to the doctors & got meds, which should be helping (they aren't). I get very testy when I am sick..
Everytime I step into the living room Doris ask if my allergies are better.. I reply it's asthma... At least 5 times a day.
I made the doctor appt, went to it, picked up the meds all before she was out of bed.... She had no idea I even left.
I get cranky when I don't feel well. My throat hurts like crazy. So sitting across from a deaf woman whose hearing aid isn't in her ear makes me a little testy.... What, I can't hear you... Boy your throat sounds really sore.... I give up.

This morning she wasn't able to go to church because she has a pain in her chest... around the pacemaker. Hubby tells her to give it time & see if she feels better. She comes out of her bedroom a bit later stating she burped & now her chest is better..

I know she cares, she keeps asking if I feel better.. the problem is I don't feel better & asking if I do makes me testy....

This too will pass & I will actually feel better, will be able to answer nicely why yes I do feel better. Until then when she ask, I will think to myself, she's only asking because she cares, and I will answer nicely..

Doctor appts are informative in more ways than one..

Today Doris had a recheck appointment at the eye doctors. I admit I did not anticipate how entertaining this was going to be as I got ready...

I finally got her out the door only 10 minutes later than I desired.. It is a snowy  blowing blizzard like day... brrr not really the best weather to take her out in.

As we are driving out of no where Doris tells me when I get to be 70 my boobs will hang down and I can tuck them in my waistband...

In my head I think this is going to be good...

I respond I don't think so, I won't have that problem

She tells me I am wrong I still have 20yrs for them to droop...

I respond, no you're wrong Dad alway told us as teens to wear a bra or when we are old we would have to use a curler and roll them up... I wore my bra so I'm safe..

She starts laughing and states she had forgotten about that, and time will tell....

Next topic:

Oh you still have your pearl ring.

Me: yes, I still wear it at times

Doris: Are we going to the office where Al works?

Me: No, why

Doris: Well you always perk up when he comes over...

Me: in my head Really!! Get a life Doris..

Me : outloud, I don't think so

Doris: He must remind you of your dad his name was Al too

Me: laughing um no he doesn't remind me of dad & what does that have to do with my pearl ring?

Doris had no answer for me.....

We were sitting at eye doctors waiting room, an older woman comes in (with her son) Doris yells across room about winter being nasty and asked if she was going to florida next year. The lady responds No.

Doris replies My husband was a trucker and he always said tell was nothing worth seeing in Florida.. I piped up and said I lived in Florida for 3 years.... you could have visited me..

Doris couldn't hear me, she was listening to the old woman talk about Tampa...

 

Finished up and loading her in the car:

Doris: It is so cold a kangaroos balls would freeze off....

Me: gosh I hope a kangaroo doesn't live here it is way to cold....  wondering where did that come from....  can you say her filter is broken....

Almost home:

Doris: I don't believe The Lord will come back anytime soon.

Me: Why do you think that?

Doris Well, It is so cold here and he wears a thin gown..

I have no response for that one, Can't even begin to form an answer...  Somethings are better left unsaid...

All in all it was a informative day....

Doris vs Me

Doris ~ there is so much love in this home
Hubby ~ I thought you took your hearing aids out at night
Doris ~ perplexed, I do...Oh I'm not talking about that kind of love
I start laughing and shaking my head...

Her: Have you ever thought of a  hair piece, you could wear it up and down, it would look very attractive.

Me: no I don't 

Her: it would look really good

Me: no, nope

Her even if it was paid for?

Me: no I don't want one

Her: Well you would  look attractive with one.....

hmm was kinda afraid to ask what she was really saying......

Her: I really like Deb, I think that is her name.. she's 60

Me: Her husband is 70..

Her: Does he have a brother......

Hmmm. guess the new meds are kicking in..

 

Doris was talking to someone at her  cousins home and telling whole history

I'm 76 you start going down hill as soon as you turn 21. She hangs up & says I have no idea who I was talking too.....

 

Doris: So and so used to store her paper work under the couch.  Her hubby  brought a big desk in and put it in the middle of the living room. I told him, his wife  should be able to find a place for all her papers now….. 

Me:  I interrupted, it's comments like that that cause problems. You didn't need to say those things about her storing and filing issues.

Doris: Well it didn't help, her hubby said the desk was for him...

ov vey

 

Doris: The ringing in my ears is really bad today...

Me: have you mentioned this to the doctors, do they know your ears ring?

Doris: why no, I just deal with it....

Ugh make a note. talk to doctor about ringing ears

Doris to caregiver: straighten up my room (please), put my 3 eye drops in the empty candy box

Me: 3 eye drops? you have 2..

Doris: No I have 3

Caregiver just stands and stares at us

Me: Doctor knows you have 2 where did the other come from?

Doris: I don't know....

Doris: and those new drops burn...

Me: you've had those new drops for over a week now & now are mentioning burning...

Fast forward:

I take all 3 bottles to eye doctor, ask what she is suppose to use, come home & give 2 back, keep 1 and confirm burning is normal...

Doris:couple days later, my eyes don't hurt so much now..

Me: probably because you were using 3 glaucoma drops instead of 2, over medicating....

Life continues to be full of funny moments...

frustrations, disappointments & pity parties

As I sit and contemplate what to write about from last week, I'm can only think about frustrations & disappointments.
So many things have changed since Doris moved in with us. I quit my job which I enjoyed immensely. I have been to so many new doctor offices I have lost count. There is never a day that starts out with I feel wonderful today or even today is a good day.

We watched TV in the basement but now there is a TV in our living room. The TV has caption across the screen and still the sound is loud. The loudness is a constant.

Some of the plans I had made for photography have been put on hold. This week is the Special Olympic Winter Games. I  had planned on going and taking pictures, just for the fun of it. However I can't leave Doris for 2-3 days alone... Hubby is leaving for the week ~ his 3rd week of traveling...
I don't feel I can ask someone to sit with her & keep the wood stove going. Also the doctor appts this week...
So I wrote all that last Sunday during a bout of pity party syndrome...
This week Doris had a ultrasound Tuesday.. The day I usually have my granddaughter baby L for the day... So I will be pushing the wheelchair with Doris holding baby L who is nearly 5mo.. What sight we are as I go down to radiology... Do you have a good hold on baby L? Her mom won't understand if you drop her!
As we enter the waiting room, it is kinda full today. A young (I mean young!) pregnant couple, her mom & sister. Another family was waiting pregnant mom, dad & 2 girls.
The girls were playing with baby L. making her laugh and generally entertaining her. Fast forward to the evening:
Talking to Shannon: baby L is so precious.. Everyone thinks so. Then mumbled something about colors....
Later: Baby L is so precious. There was a colored family in the waiting room & even they thought she was precious... Doris was impressed that the "colored" family thought a "white" baby was precious...
She continually tells me she isn't racist, bigot, she loves everyone equally..... skin doesn't matter to her.
When I'm in a mood, I will reply color, what color are they, green, red, purple? She will sheepishly reply why they are black....

Last week Doris called her cousin John, who is out of state for the winter (smart man I say) anyhow Doris is talking to someone, giving all her history.. from people dying to breaking of bones, to what a good cook I am... She talked for maybe 20-30min.... Hangs up, looks at me & says I have no idea who that was, it was one of John's grand kids I think....
These conversations Doris has with people, spilling her guts reminds me to never never ever share anything personal & private with Doris.... It won't stay personal & private...

I was able to go to Grand Haven Pier this week. I was showing her some of the pictures ~ her response was are you able to make those darker before you print, I said yes, She replied that would look better.... hmm I wonder why my self esteem takes a dip every so often..... Then I talk to my friends who help me see it isn't me, I am the normal one

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