Old people need to be touched.....

I woke up this morning thinking how much I miss the Hubby. I miss being touched, holding hands, just basic touches.
Which made me realize how little my mom is touched daily, weekly...
Doctor appointments don't count as touches.
Hair appointments don't count as touches.
Caregiver touches really don't count because they are not a loved one.
Is lack of touching one of the causes of depression? I know it affect me when I am alone for a week.
It  must  be so much worse for someone who is now alone, without their spouse to touch them and hold them daily.
My goal is touch my mom daily on purpose... To give her a hug...
An experiment to see how personal daily touch affects her. I'm expecting good things from this....
Stay tuned....

Oh Doris..... Granny wobbles and she does fall down....

So Granny fell 2 wks ago. She's been in a lot of pain. We went to her primary doctor after the er visit. (Thursday) She upped her pain meds, ordered new xrays. Off to the hospital we go. As I pull up the valet (love that man whoever he is) comes out with a wheelchair, wheels her in, and then parks my car...
We get her registered head up to radiology. Whoever built the ramp or whatever it is called to radiology must had been sleeping that day, it is uphill... Yes uphill pushing Granny. She's not a huge woman but she's not featherweight either.... I had hurt my knee the week she fell & had been babying it. Pushing her I felt a twang.. Not a good twang either. Back to Granny...
Her wheelchair wouldn't fit thru the doorway into the xray area.... The girl kept banging it in the door jam saying it won't fit.... duh... Can she walk? No She can't.. She finally took her around thru the hall...Her xrays stilled showed no broken bones.
Fast forward to Tuesday: Off to the heart doctor we went with grand daughter in tow... He decides to postpone all procedures he had planned for 6-8wks. We are at this office for 2hrs.. Baby girl didn't sleep or cry.
We came home, left baby girl in the car while helping granny get into the house. We have 3 steps... Routine is she walks to steps, I move walker in the house, she stands and WAITS.... then I help her in... today she had a totally new routine... while I move the walker in she takes the first step holding onto NOTHING & down she goes again.. landing on her bad side in the garage. Baby girl is now screaming.... I called Hubby & Daughter to come and help me. We get her up, into the house, check her over, give her another pain pill & off to bed she goes.
Made a doctor appt for the next day.. I was cleaning and taking things down to the basement & thought I was going to die when my knee felt like a rubber band snapped.... Call the Hubby again, who now wonders how we live when he is traveling... Call Daughter, Hubby takes Granny to the Doctor, Daughter goes into the exam room with her. I'm sure Hubby was very thankful for Daughter....Doctor ordered more xrays... This time fractured ribs show up. No wonder the old gal is in pain.... Ordered more meds...
I make appt for my knee for the next day... Doctor thinks I had a bakers cyst burst and probable torn  meniscus... Now waiting for an MRI for me, Granny is in pain & I am limping around... What a pair we make... Granny keeps telling me to use her walker when she is sitting.... No way will I move it away from her.....
Can't wait to see what happens next week.... I have a feeling it will be awesome...

What week we have had....

Conversation when we were watching tv:
When I was in 5 or 6th grade I was able to look at someone and tell if they were Jews. I'm sure I heard someone talk about that Jew. Someone who lived 2 downs from us and he was foreign, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't a Jew. People were jealous of them for having money. The woman were beautiful...

flipping thru the channels ~ stop watch change, it's a cycle..
Me: Oh I like this one the Blacklist...
Her: replies well that is the one I was looking for....
Me: in my head sure you were.... 10 minutes ago you were going to bed
 proceeds to talk thru the whole show... Which is ok, I can watch it on demand tomorrow morning while you sleep...



Our Church's small group meets at our place:
In  group shared she doesn't hold grudges and ask me in front of everyone if this was true..
My eyes got big as I struggled to answer this one in front of everyone..... I finally replied

I don't thing it is fair to ask me in front of everyone, she didn't agree with me said she doesn't hold grudges.

Her:in our house if you told the truth you didn't get in  trouble but if you lied it was much worse...
Me: in my head I must have lived in a different house.......

Fast forward to Friday.......
Granny was doing her own laundry (which I encourage to keep her mobile)
She proceeded to go into her bedroom to put away her clothes. Shutting the door behind her...
Mistake 1. the walker is in the living room
Mistake 2 shutting the bedroom door
Meanwhile I am talking to Hubby on the phone.. yak yak yak & the damn dog won't quit barking...
Hubby suggest putting her special collar on her..
I grab the collar and go after her, she runs away, circles back barking at Granny's door...
I slowly understand the problem, Granny is calling for help! I open the door and she laying on the floor.. I stubbed my toe and fell she says...
I tell Hubby I gotta go.....
I call for the ambulance, move stuff out of the way, grab all her meds, call Shannon, Jane, hubby give an update.... oh and took dinner out of the oven (for once this week I was actually on top of dinner plans)
Granny had xrays which thankfully showed no broken bones.. She hurt her shoulder and collar bone, is sore where she hit the sewing cabinet, basically is in a whole lot of pain....
As we left the house we forgot Granny's shoes and coat, which if we lived anywhere else wouldn't be an issue however it was snowing.....
This morning Granny is still in a lot of pain and will continue to be I believe. There is a possibility of a torn rotator cuff that will need to be checked out....
I'm thankful this week is over & especially thankful Granny didn't break any bones (that we know of), Thankful Shannon came and helped me stay sane,
Oh about the damn dog, it looks like she won't ever move out...... She has earned her place in our home however she will always be the damn dog to me....

It's a new week

So Doris was looking at at my Easter Mini Session card that was laying on the table. She states "Well they better bring their cameras or just forget about it..."
Now I am totally confused with where this conversation is going... "What do you mean?" I asked
She replies "If they don't bring their cameras they need to just go home" "Why do they need their own cameras I ask, I am the one taking their pictures, they are paying for me to take them..."
"What a brilliant idea you have" she responds. She then proceeds to tell her sister what a smart idea it is to take their pictures for them...
Gotta laugh...

Conversation with the Hubby:
When I was younger I wanted to go and bomb every place that sold alcohol... But I'm not in that place anymore....
 hmmm.... Not really sure what to think about that one..

Today:
Her: Well I think I will go to bed..
Me: ok, Tena comes in the morning..
Her: looking blank ~ whose coming
Me: Tena
Her: I don't know who that is...
Me: Tena, your caregiver who cleans your room
 In my head: it's time to check for another UTI... confusion is one of the signs in the elderly...

Friday will be busy with blood work and eye doctor appt.. hoping to talk about cataract surgery soon

It's been a good week so far, I know it  is only Wednesday I still have high hopes for the rest of the week..

March the month I'd like to skip...

It's been a few weeks since I posted. March has been a hard month for me. Thankfully April is almost here. The sun is shining more, hopefully the snow quits, days are longer.. March 1st is the anniversary of my sister Beth's death. It's been (I think) 10 years. We weren't close until she was diagnosed with liver cancer. (don't wait until someone is dying to show your love). I still struggle with the circumstances of that last week. Anyhow to make the week even better 2 days later we celebrate my birthday. I don't really like birthdays. So the plan of the day was dinner @Hobo's in Muskegon with Shannon, Tim, Little L, Granny & Hubby. As I ordered my vodka tonic with lime, granny leans over and ask what I ordered. I replied tonic with lime. She ask, with vodka? I replied I certainly hope so.. Granny doesn't drink, her father was an alcoholic and even tho she has given us permission to have a glass of wine (yes she did say that), I try to be respectful of her feeling about it. Fast forward to the next day:
Granny: I should have stayed home last night...
Me: didn't you have fun?
Granny: yes, but you should have celebrated with your family..
Me: I did! you are part of the family...
She still doesn't see herself as part of our family, I'm trying hard to include her, make her feel included...It's hard to not make it personal.. This was the first birthday since I was 18 she has been with me to celebrate.. It's been a hard month for granny too.
She sleeps the majority of the day & night.. Which I've learned isn't such a bad thing for me. Instead of focusing on how much she sleeps I tend to embrace it.. It's a time I can do anything or just be alone. I am confident once her health issues are fixed she won't be sleeping so much. Last week was her first appt with the heart specialist. We learned her heart is out of rhythm (which makes one tired), her pacemaker is going to need replacing in 6-12months. Granny was talking to someone (everyone) telling them the doctor thought her scar from the breast cancer healed very nice. After hearing this story at least 5 times, I finally spoke up and told her he was talking about her pacemaker scar!!! He wasn't near the other scar.. Yesterday was the appointment for the procedure to put her heart back in rhythm.. Epic fail.... They knock you out, then shock you. they tried it 3 times and it didn't work. Adding another heart med to her list, in a month will shock her again. Little L came over Tuesday, Granny decided she needed to give her a nickname... Pork chop or porky... her reasoning ~ Little L has fat rolls... in my head I said "no wonder I see a counselor, and we need to start a fund for Little L's counseling when she's older.." I told granny she needed to find a better nickname for her. Toots, Luc, and cupcake it is.... she's so sweet I could eat her up... better start that fund next payday.
Took granny to church Wednesday for soups on. Churches in the area provide soups every Wednesday during Lent. She was sitting out in the foyer by herself, I motioned come in with everyone and make a friend... She was observing people (must be why I'm a people watcher) she asked about a man, I told her he's so and so husband. She replied I hope he had good eyesight when he was younger... My head whipped around, What does that mean? She replies well she's very beautiful.... I'm thinking it was a compliment in a backward way...
My Friend Val is working on getting granny to go to the local health club (whatever it's called) to swim.. She's ordered bathing suits for her to try on.. I think once granny gets there she will enjoy it.. it's baby steps getting her in pool.. I'm thankful for friends that reach out to granny....

Feeling a bit whiny today

It has been a very long week.... I have been sick since last Tuesday, sleeping everyday, most of the day. I finally went to the doctors & got meds, which should be helping (they aren't). I get very testy when I am sick..
Everytime I step into the living room Doris ask if my allergies are better.. I reply it's asthma... At least 5 times a day.
I made the doctor appt, went to it, picked up the meds all before she was out of bed.... She had no idea I even left.
I get cranky when I don't feel well. My throat hurts like crazy. So sitting across from a deaf woman whose hearing aid isn't in her ear makes me a little testy.... What, I can't hear you... Boy your throat sounds really sore.... I give up.

This morning she wasn't able to go to church because she has a pain in her chest... around the pacemaker. Hubby tells her to give it time & see if she feels better. She comes out of her bedroom a bit later stating she burped & now her chest is better..

I know she cares, she keeps asking if I feel better.. the problem is I don't feel better & asking if I do makes me testy....

This too will pass & I will actually feel better, will be able to answer nicely why yes I do feel better. Until then when she ask, I will think to myself, she's only asking because she cares, and I will answer nicely..

Doctor appts are informative in more ways than one..

Today Doris had a recheck appointment at the eye doctors. I admit I did not anticipate how entertaining this was going to be as I got ready...

I finally got her out the door only 10 minutes later than I desired.. It is a snowy  blowing blizzard like day... brrr not really the best weather to take her out in.

As we are driving out of no where Doris tells me when I get to be 70 my boobs will hang down and I can tuck them in my waistband...

In my head I think this is going to be good...

I respond I don't think so, I won't have that problem

She tells me I am wrong I still have 20yrs for them to droop...

I respond, no you're wrong Dad alway told us as teens to wear a bra or when we are old we would have to use a curler and roll them up... I wore my bra so I'm safe..

She starts laughing and states she had forgotten about that, and time will tell....

Next topic:

Oh you still have your pearl ring.

Me: yes, I still wear it at times

Doris: Are we going to the office where Al works?

Me: No, why

Doris: Well you always perk up when he comes over...

Me: in my head Really!! Get a life Doris..

Me : outloud, I don't think so

Doris: He must remind you of your dad his name was Al too

Me: laughing um no he doesn't remind me of dad & what does that have to do with my pearl ring?

Doris had no answer for me.....

We were sitting at eye doctors waiting room, an older woman comes in (with her son) Doris yells across room about winter being nasty and asked if she was going to florida next year. The lady responds No.

Doris replies My husband was a trucker and he always said tell was nothing worth seeing in Florida.. I piped up and said I lived in Florida for 3 years.... you could have visited me..

Doris couldn't hear me, she was listening to the old woman talk about Tampa...

 

Finished up and loading her in the car:

Doris: It is so cold a kangaroos balls would freeze off....

Me: gosh I hope a kangaroo doesn't live here it is way to cold....  wondering where did that come from....  can you say her filter is broken....

Almost home:

Doris: I don't believe The Lord will come back anytime soon.

Me: Why do you think that?

Doris Well, It is so cold here and he wears a thin gown..

I have no response for that one, Can't even begin to form an answer...  Somethings are better left unsaid...

All in all it was a informative day....