Thanksgiving the one time of the year where we are to give thanks.... While I am thankful for my mom living with us ~ we know where she is, what is going on, that she is eating, etc. I am not so thankful she lives with us...
The thoughts live in the back of my mind ~ if she wasn't here I could go see my son's family in Tennessee, I could go to Michigan and see my daughter's family, I could go to Corpus and see my son & his girl. I could go see my Peep who had to cancel her trip (which I totally understand)
I could go anywhere...
So Wednesday while having my very own pity party I became a total bitch. Whipping around the house cleaning like a fool, dusting, vacuuming, finishing up making candy & to top off my mood the damn dog jumped up on the sink next to me apparently looking out the window..... (I later found out the hubby does that with her upstairs as they look for squirrels).
Hubby comes home from a hard work day.. I burst into tears demanding she moves out, I told ya, pity party... He let's me go on for a bit as he stands across the room. He finally says ok and goes upstairs.. (Didn't help my attitude gotta say).
I made grilled cheese and soup for dinner, I wasn't hungry so I kept puttering around the kitchen. Doris kept making jokes about needing to eat to keep up my strength for all the cooking... She finally caught on & just ate.
A couple hours later after a long nap, I felt a lot better. I was able to put things back in perspective. I told hubby, you didn't even hug me when I melted down. He replied it was safer to stay away from you. He was right....
The holidays are hard both for me and Doris. She is remembering my father, her parents, people who are gone, people who won't talk to her (oh yea she has no idea why & doesn't remember she said things she shouldn't had said over 3yrs ago)..She's concerned she doesn't have money to give presents to everyone she wants to.
We look forward to Christmas because my daughter's family is coming & they are picking up the Tennessee grandkids too.. At some point the Corpus son and girlfriend will be visiting too.
This is the first year all of my kids and their families won't be together for Christmas.. I will even miss the silly great dane dog that comes with them.
But it's all going to be ok. I will make this the best Christmas I can. I will consciously change my attitude and put myself in Doris' place. I will quit feeling sorry for myself since I've it doesn't help anyhow...
Christmas is family however the most important thing about Christmas is celebrating Christ's birthday. Without God my life would be worse than I think it is now. He is in control of all things. He has his plans which trump my plans..
So today I will put on my big girl panties and suck it up. Stop feeling sorry for myself. Today I will decorate the tree (hopefully with some help).
I will start my count down to my trip to Michigan (in the winter brrrr), I will get respite care for Doris quit stalling and say I will do it and do it...
I will be thankful I still have my hubby, all my children & grandchildren. I need to keep in my mind Doris won't always be here. I have many friends whose moms have died. They yearn to talk to their mom just one more time.
Life is as hard as you make it....
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
An eye opening week.
This week has been a very long week & it's only Wednesday.
Monday I made a doctor appointment for Doris. She can hardly breathe. She can't talk and catch her breath. She's talking all the meds prescribed yet is getting no better. She has been diagnosed with asthma for years and years. The doctor (whom we didn't like the first time we went) seemed to be more patient, caring and not as rushed. He also is concerned about the lack of air she is getting.
He mentioned CPOD... that's new for us. Doris smoked for a couple years way back in the late 50's.. although her parents smoked like chimneys.... So the second hand smoke has created problems. Also heating her home with wood for 30+ years is another issue... Doctor was shaking his head in disbelief. He ordered a new med for CPOD.. Hoping it helps her. He also ordered a bunch of blood work in case it's her heart... She could have a blockage. She didn't hear that part of the conversation, so I'm not sharing that unless I need to.
Tuesday was a rough day for both of us.. It was embarrassing for her and a test for me.. I believe I passed the test with flying colors. The afternoon consisted of 6 loads of her laundry, cleaning carpet and cleaning the mattress.. Thankfully it wasn't really as bad as it could had been....
As I was telling her I would change the bedding and do the laundry she interrupted to tell me it was okay, she would just put this pad over the sheets. I know I was sharp with her when I told her no, you won't sleep on a dirty bed.... She didn't want to be a burden or cause me extra work.. She was embarrassed.. (I apologized for being sharp & told her I wasn't mad but upset she didn't think she needed clean sheets)
My heart breaks for Mom... to think she'd sleep on a soiled bed to keep me from extra work...
I complain (sometimes a lot not to her tho) about things she does or says, however She's my Mom. She wiped my butt, she helped me during those rough teen years. I put her through some rough times as I was growing up. (not as rough as my sister or brother :) of course)..
Some days I wish she was living elsewhere, anywhere. I tend to look at what I have lost since she moved in 2 yrs ago... Freedom to travel as I wish, being able to see my grandkids whenever I want. always wondering if she's ok when I'm gone, those kind of things..
Instead I need to focus on the fact I can help my mom through her final years on earth.. This is not the life she planned either... I need to embrace this time with my mom. It won't be all roses all the time.. I will still need to have time away and the hubby will listen to me vent and ramble on for a couple hours. Then the next day we start over... I'm thankful for my hubby. He took her out to pick up meds and then to McDonald's for a treat. He didn't complain when I asked him to pick up the meds and it was his idea to take her out..
I am making memories with Mom that no one else will have... They don't get to hear those stories of her childhood while she can remember them.
I hope this new med will help her breathe.. I want to get her up in my studio to capture her spirit. If she can't then I will move what I need downstairs and get pictures of her.
She will still drive me crazy and come up with ideas I try to gently shoot down.. Overall she's still my Mom & I love her..
Monday I made a doctor appointment for Doris. She can hardly breathe. She can't talk and catch her breath. She's talking all the meds prescribed yet is getting no better. She has been diagnosed with asthma for years and years. The doctor (whom we didn't like the first time we went) seemed to be more patient, caring and not as rushed. He also is concerned about the lack of air she is getting.
He mentioned CPOD... that's new for us. Doris smoked for a couple years way back in the late 50's.. although her parents smoked like chimneys.... So the second hand smoke has created problems. Also heating her home with wood for 30+ years is another issue... Doctor was shaking his head in disbelief. He ordered a new med for CPOD.. Hoping it helps her. He also ordered a bunch of blood work in case it's her heart... She could have a blockage. She didn't hear that part of the conversation, so I'm not sharing that unless I need to.
Tuesday was a rough day for both of us.. It was embarrassing for her and a test for me.. I believe I passed the test with flying colors. The afternoon consisted of 6 loads of her laundry, cleaning carpet and cleaning the mattress.. Thankfully it wasn't really as bad as it could had been....
As I was telling her I would change the bedding and do the laundry she interrupted to tell me it was okay, she would just put this pad over the sheets. I know I was sharp with her when I told her no, you won't sleep on a dirty bed.... She didn't want to be a burden or cause me extra work.. She was embarrassed.. (I apologized for being sharp & told her I wasn't mad but upset she didn't think she needed clean sheets)
My heart breaks for Mom... to think she'd sleep on a soiled bed to keep me from extra work...
I complain (sometimes a lot not to her tho) about things she does or says, however She's my Mom. She wiped my butt, she helped me during those rough teen years. I put her through some rough times as I was growing up. (not as rough as my sister or brother :) of course)..
Some days I wish she was living elsewhere, anywhere. I tend to look at what I have lost since she moved in 2 yrs ago... Freedom to travel as I wish, being able to see my grandkids whenever I want. always wondering if she's ok when I'm gone, those kind of things..
Instead I need to focus on the fact I can help my mom through her final years on earth.. This is not the life she planned either... I need to embrace this time with my mom. It won't be all roses all the time.. I will still need to have time away and the hubby will listen to me vent and ramble on for a couple hours. Then the next day we start over... I'm thankful for my hubby. He took her out to pick up meds and then to McDonald's for a treat. He didn't complain when I asked him to pick up the meds and it was his idea to take her out..
I am making memories with Mom that no one else will have... They don't get to hear those stories of her childhood while she can remember them.
I hope this new med will help her breathe.. I want to get her up in my studio to capture her spirit. If she can't then I will move what I need downstairs and get pictures of her.
She will still drive me crazy and come up with ideas I try to gently shoot down.. Overall she's still my Mom & I love her..
Monday, October 19, 2015
Up up and away!!
Time to update on life with Granny... Some of these stories are posted on my facebook page, so bear with me if you are my friend...
Finally sold our Michigan home and with a long drawn out headache closed the Grand Prairie home in August. Mid-August the hubs flew back to help with the packers, movers, whatever we had to do. The packers came for 2 days.... We sat around the first day watching and twiddling our thumbs. They kept our beds together so we'd have a place to sleep. Packed the sheets but who needs those.. The second day started out same as the other... As the day progressed Granny started complaining of chest pain, couldn't breath... Her doctor had warned us of anxiety which could worsen during this time. In hindsight I should had gotten some meds for that. Anyhow off to the emergency room we go. The truck is loaded with stuff for the dump.. I asked the hubs, is that stuff ok, will it stay? Yes it will.. As I'm driving down the road mailing tubes are flying out of the truck... (When I ordered backdrops they are shipped in tubes). I am fuming.... I try to call the hubs... No answer, turn the corner and more fly out. I finally stop. An older gentlemen stopped and informed me I lost a bunch more back there... I politely nod and say thanks... I continue on after picking those up. Get to the hospital, get the nurses to come and wheel her in & I'm in prime form... The movers are at my house and she had anxiety and I don't have time for this..... After several hours they decide nothing is wrong however they will keep her.. (wise choice). I informed the nurses on the floor I may not be back much tomorrow, those movers you know....
The next day the truck is being loaded... I sent hubs up to check on her. I learn her pacemaker isn't working and she needs a new one! (award for most insensitive goes to me). Her chest pain wasn't from the pacemaker tho....
Trucks come and trucks go, hubby cleans the house, leaves for Texas with truck loaded and dog.. Granny and I will be flying down in 10 days, just a few days after getting her new pacemaker....
I was scheduled to shoot a wedding 3 days before our flight... Wedding was awesome, bride was beautiful.. weather cooperated....
Granny had a appt with her doctor before we left, (got those pills for anxiety)...
At first we were going to drive, then I thought about it 3 days in the car or 6 hrs of hell flying..... piece of cake.
Granny had never flown before. She actually did rather well. She didn't sleep but kept talking to me. It wasn't hell I was wrong. Hubby picked us up, got something to eat. Her room was basically set up (thanks to Hub). She went to bed and slept over 24hrs. We kept checking to make sure she was breathing.
Granny loves Texas, loves the warmth, loves the fact the sun shines daily.. We didn't get her in the pool this year, maybe next. She's adjusting slowly....
Finally sold our Michigan home and with a long drawn out headache closed the Grand Prairie home in August. Mid-August the hubs flew back to help with the packers, movers, whatever we had to do. The packers came for 2 days.... We sat around the first day watching and twiddling our thumbs. They kept our beds together so we'd have a place to sleep. Packed the sheets but who needs those.. The second day started out same as the other... As the day progressed Granny started complaining of chest pain, couldn't breath... Her doctor had warned us of anxiety which could worsen during this time. In hindsight I should had gotten some meds for that. Anyhow off to the emergency room we go. The truck is loaded with stuff for the dump.. I asked the hubs, is that stuff ok, will it stay? Yes it will.. As I'm driving down the road mailing tubes are flying out of the truck... (When I ordered backdrops they are shipped in tubes). I am fuming.... I try to call the hubs... No answer, turn the corner and more fly out. I finally stop. An older gentlemen stopped and informed me I lost a bunch more back there... I politely nod and say thanks... I continue on after picking those up. Get to the hospital, get the nurses to come and wheel her in & I'm in prime form... The movers are at my house and she had anxiety and I don't have time for this..... After several hours they decide nothing is wrong however they will keep her.. (wise choice). I informed the nurses on the floor I may not be back much tomorrow, those movers you know....
The next day the truck is being loaded... I sent hubs up to check on her. I learn her pacemaker isn't working and she needs a new one! (award for most insensitive goes to me). Her chest pain wasn't from the pacemaker tho....
Trucks come and trucks go, hubby cleans the house, leaves for Texas with truck loaded and dog.. Granny and I will be flying down in 10 days, just a few days after getting her new pacemaker....
I was scheduled to shoot a wedding 3 days before our flight... Wedding was awesome, bride was beautiful.. weather cooperated....
Granny had a appt with her doctor before we left, (got those pills for anxiety)...
At first we were going to drive, then I thought about it 3 days in the car or 6 hrs of hell flying..... piece of cake.
Granny had never flown before. She actually did rather well. She didn't sleep but kept talking to me. It wasn't hell I was wrong. Hubby picked us up, got something to eat. Her room was basically set up (thanks to Hub). She went to bed and slept over 24hrs. We kept checking to make sure she was breathing.
Granny loves Texas, loves the warmth, loves the fact the sun shines daily.. We didn't get her in the pool this year, maybe next. She's adjusting slowly....
Saturday, June 6, 2015
dementia/alzheimers words I'm learning to understand
Sometimes I forget that I blog to deal with life.... It is a much needed release I need to utilize more often.
This year has once again been a year of change and turmoil at times. In January the Hubs got a promotion at work which entails relocating to Dallas. He left March 1 to work in Dallas for almost a month. He returned in time for me to have knee surgery. That month alone with Granny was a rough one.... She drove me crazy to be blunt. Sleeping all day, up most of the night. I did learn to embrace her sleeping pattern & I go to bed early and get up earlier.
After my 2wks post-op appt, we flew to Texas to house hunt. side note: If you fly with crutches you get a ride to your next gate, board the plane first... Perks of surgery..
Scored what I thought was a perfect home. After 5 days we returned home, picked Granny up from Cindy, her respite care place & the man left again.....
The decision to relocate was put on hold as Granny was having some new health issues..Memory was going fast for her.She remember things from her youth, my childhood but didn't know what day it was. (still doesn't). Canceled the house buying, selling, life was on hold.. I set my studio back up, started booking clients again.
Granny has been diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer. She remembers her Doctor telling her she has dementia but that's it.
With this new diagnosis I now realize the old girl isn't doing things to yank my chain. She truly is confused.. I have become more patient with her, don't get me wrong she can still drive me crazy at times.
The Hubs & I decided to more forward once again with moving. It really doesn't matter where we live because Granny will be in a home sooner than later.
Now we house hunt via face time (make one nausea at times with that camera moving so fast). The need to have our place Realtor ready at all times, purging the stuff we won't need. Life continues to move forward.. We did find an awesome new home with a pool & room for my studio!!!
Last week I needed to leave for the Realtor showing twice.. Each time was a story in itself...
trip 1 ~ Plan is to go to Wally world & spend the hour. Granny didn't feel like getting out the car. I got her a big mac at Mcdonalds. I thought we'd drive by the house to see if anyone had shown up.. She proceed to take her burger apart, removing the middle bun & some of the other stuff. I'm so busy watching her I ran a stop sign. Thankfully it was a clear intersection. Goodness. I didn't say anything until she mentioned the burger was good except she gets too full eating all the buns... I quietly replied we will get you an quarter pounder next time.. it doesn't have the extra bun. She thinks I'm brilliant now... We get home & find no one has been there.... She gets settled in bed & the people arrive! Ugh. I offer to get her up and leave, however they chose to look at the house with her sleeping & I went out to sit in the yard... What a fiasco..
Trip 2 ~ Back to McDonald, this time she gets a ice cream cone dipped in chocolate...She proceeds to bite the tip off and suck melted ice cream out... My head whipped towards her, I bit my tongue & didn't say a word.. The next time I look she had the chocolate coating on her lap, ice cream dripping everywhere. I quietly hand her the baby wipes.. She was covered in ice cream. I said next time you may want to skip the chocolate dip.
The old me would had come unglued and been harsh with her.
Granny is failing fast it seems. She sleeps more and more.
I have notified her siblings of her newest health issues, which I'm sure they are thankful for. They now understand why they are hearing the same story over and over. However that one friend who gives her advice that makes my life hell, I figured she doesn't need to know any more info... Let her keep hearing the same stories... As I sit and listen I kinda enjoy the face she's in the dark... I know I'm twisted, however don't call and tell Granny to make her own appointment since I drive her everywhere.. Or tell her to manage her own money... She has no concept of money... none at all..
As we prepare once again to move, she is confused. She doesn't remember how we are getting there (driving), I haven't shared when yet, (too early).
The Hubs says I have come far as I share these stories with him. The fact I can laugh when telling them is huge...
Embrace the time you have!
This year has once again been a year of change and turmoil at times. In January the Hubs got a promotion at work which entails relocating to Dallas. He left March 1 to work in Dallas for almost a month. He returned in time for me to have knee surgery. That month alone with Granny was a rough one.... She drove me crazy to be blunt. Sleeping all day, up most of the night. I did learn to embrace her sleeping pattern & I go to bed early and get up earlier.
After my 2wks post-op appt, we flew to Texas to house hunt. side note: If you fly with crutches you get a ride to your next gate, board the plane first... Perks of surgery..
Scored what I thought was a perfect home. After 5 days we returned home, picked Granny up from Cindy, her respite care place & the man left again.....
The decision to relocate was put on hold as Granny was having some new health issues..Memory was going fast for her.She remember things from her youth, my childhood but didn't know what day it was. (still doesn't). Canceled the house buying, selling, life was on hold.. I set my studio back up, started booking clients again.
Granny has been diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer. She remembers her Doctor telling her she has dementia but that's it.
With this new diagnosis I now realize the old girl isn't doing things to yank my chain. She truly is confused.. I have become more patient with her, don't get me wrong she can still drive me crazy at times.
The Hubs & I decided to more forward once again with moving. It really doesn't matter where we live because Granny will be in a home sooner than later.
Now we house hunt via face time (make one nausea at times with that camera moving so fast). The need to have our place Realtor ready at all times, purging the stuff we won't need. Life continues to move forward.. We did find an awesome new home with a pool & room for my studio!!!
Last week I needed to leave for the Realtor showing twice.. Each time was a story in itself...
trip 1 ~ Plan is to go to Wally world & spend the hour. Granny didn't feel like getting out the car. I got her a big mac at Mcdonalds. I thought we'd drive by the house to see if anyone had shown up.. She proceed to take her burger apart, removing the middle bun & some of the other stuff. I'm so busy watching her I ran a stop sign. Thankfully it was a clear intersection. Goodness. I didn't say anything until she mentioned the burger was good except she gets too full eating all the buns... I quietly replied we will get you an quarter pounder next time.. it doesn't have the extra bun. She thinks I'm brilliant now... We get home & find no one has been there.... She gets settled in bed & the people arrive! Ugh. I offer to get her up and leave, however they chose to look at the house with her sleeping & I went out to sit in the yard... What a fiasco..
Trip 2 ~ Back to McDonald, this time she gets a ice cream cone dipped in chocolate...She proceeds to bite the tip off and suck melted ice cream out... My head whipped towards her, I bit my tongue & didn't say a word.. The next time I look she had the chocolate coating on her lap, ice cream dripping everywhere. I quietly hand her the baby wipes.. She was covered in ice cream. I said next time you may want to skip the chocolate dip.
The old me would had come unglued and been harsh with her.
Granny is failing fast it seems. She sleeps more and more.
I have notified her siblings of her newest health issues, which I'm sure they are thankful for. They now understand why they are hearing the same story over and over. However that one friend who gives her advice that makes my life hell, I figured she doesn't need to know any more info... Let her keep hearing the same stories... As I sit and listen I kinda enjoy the face she's in the dark... I know I'm twisted, however don't call and tell Granny to make her own appointment since I drive her everywhere.. Or tell her to manage her own money... She has no concept of money... none at all..
As we prepare once again to move, she is confused. She doesn't remember how we are getting there (driving), I haven't shared when yet, (too early).
The Hubs says I have come far as I share these stories with him. The fact I can laugh when telling them is huge...
Embrace the time you have!
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Oh Doris
I remember Thumper from the movie Bambi saying ~ if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.....
Well that is kinda where I've been for the last months..... It's been trying to say the least, however this last moth has been a dozy....
It all starts in January:
My Uncle Paul passed away after a lengthy illness. The hubs & I drove Doris to the funeral 3 hrs away. All went well.... She visited with family she hasn't seen in a long time.... She was disappointed there was no baked beans, but life goes on....
The ride home was uneventful for the most part..... Until we heard the words I need the bathroom.....
Hubs stops and takes her in, on the way out she stumbles, falls and after a visit to the hospital she has broken 4 bones in her foot..... Yep, non-weight bearing for at least 4 weeks..... It's ok, I can do this..... I call the cargiver's boss, extend her hours somewhat so I can leave all day Thursdays....
Our day consist of waking up, using the commode... transferring to her walker, sitting down and I pull her to the living room.... 4 wks of pulling her around. Going to the doctor appt consist of getting her in the wheelchair, down 3 steps, transfer to car, go to appt. reverse..... Nothing is heavier than dead weight... Back up the steps.... whew I need a nap now...
At the last doctor appt I happily heard the words weight bearing.... YES the ole girl can stand on her foot... no more commodes... no more dragging her around.... Yippee....
About this time I realized my knee was acting up again.. Yes the same knee I had surgery on last summer... I could had cried... I now am waiting for a MRI to determine what kind of surgery I need. I am back to crutches when I go out, around the house I can walk as long as I take it easy.....
The days are crazy......
This was my last Wednesday:
So this morning my mom had an appt for an ultrasound of her kidneys etc. at 12:30 I give her 32 oz of water. She drinks it all and declared at 1:15 she's gotta poop. I said don't pee! She comes back out & proceeds to drink more water. Kept saying I need to burp. I get her in the car, pulling out and she starts puking. I reach across and whip the door open. She says I'm ok shuts the door and proceeds to repeat 2 more times. She declared she's ok now and start on our way to her appt. almost there she says my new hearing aid is gone! The one we paid $xxxx for. I stop the car, go to her side of the car, look around (yes she puked in my car, down the door) no hearing aid...I drive back home look in puke. Look in house. Go back to hospital. Get her registered telling the girls you gotta shout. And no I can't push her wheelchair. Get her test finished. The tech stands up and crunch. Yes she stepped on the hearing which was in her clothing. Oops. I could have cried. I stop at the hearing aid place. Explained my day & pulled the crunched hearing aid. She gets on the phone and praise God it is still under warranty. Monday should get it back. So I take her home, get her in the house with her walker. I go clean puke out of my car, get the mail. Walk in the house and she's laying on the floor. I said what happened. She responds I don't know. Ugh. Call hubs home to help get her up she goes to bed saying she's exhausted....
I think I'm the exhausted one... Feeling alone, no support other than my family. I think it's time for some chocolate.....
Well that is kinda where I've been for the last months..... It's been trying to say the least, however this last moth has been a dozy....
It all starts in January:
My Uncle Paul passed away after a lengthy illness. The hubs & I drove Doris to the funeral 3 hrs away. All went well.... She visited with family she hasn't seen in a long time.... She was disappointed there was no baked beans, but life goes on....
The ride home was uneventful for the most part..... Until we heard the words I need the bathroom.....
Hubs stops and takes her in, on the way out she stumbles, falls and after a visit to the hospital she has broken 4 bones in her foot..... Yep, non-weight bearing for at least 4 weeks..... It's ok, I can do this..... I call the cargiver's boss, extend her hours somewhat so I can leave all day Thursdays....
Our day consist of waking up, using the commode... transferring to her walker, sitting down and I pull her to the living room.... 4 wks of pulling her around. Going to the doctor appt consist of getting her in the wheelchair, down 3 steps, transfer to car, go to appt. reverse..... Nothing is heavier than dead weight... Back up the steps.... whew I need a nap now...
At the last doctor appt I happily heard the words weight bearing.... YES the ole girl can stand on her foot... no more commodes... no more dragging her around.... Yippee....
About this time I realized my knee was acting up again.. Yes the same knee I had surgery on last summer... I could had cried... I now am waiting for a MRI to determine what kind of surgery I need. I am back to crutches when I go out, around the house I can walk as long as I take it easy.....
The days are crazy......
This was my last Wednesday:
So this morning my mom had an appt for an ultrasound of her kidneys etc. at 12:30 I give her 32 oz of water. She drinks it all and declared at 1:15 she's gotta poop. I said don't pee! She comes back out & proceeds to drink more water. Kept saying I need to burp. I get her in the car, pulling out and she starts puking. I reach across and whip the door open. She says I'm ok shuts the door and proceeds to repeat 2 more times. She declared she's ok now and start on our way to her appt. almost there she says my new hearing aid is gone! The one we paid $xxxx for. I stop the car, go to her side of the car, look around (yes she puked in my car, down the door) no hearing aid...I drive back home look in puke. Look in house. Go back to hospital. Get her registered telling the girls you gotta shout. And no I can't push her wheelchair. Get her test finished. The tech stands up and crunch. Yes she stepped on the hearing which was in her clothing. Oops. I could have cried. I stop at the hearing aid place. Explained my day & pulled the crunched hearing aid. She gets on the phone and praise God it is still under warranty. Monday should get it back. So I take her home, get her in the house with her walker. I go clean puke out of my car, get the mail. Walk in the house and she's laying on the floor. I said what happened. She responds I don't know. Ugh. Call hubs home to help get her up she goes to bed saying she's exhausted....
I think I'm the exhausted one... Feeling alone, no support other than my family. I think it's time for some chocolate.....
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Life gives you lemons make lemonade...
Once again it has been awhile since I have posted. Life doesn't seem to slow down much here.
I am finally off the crutches & back to (my) normal.
It is a struggle with granny to take her meds daily....she gets up at noon, complains her left arm hurts.. I observe she hasn't taken her heart meds yet.. I mention this to her, my final words are it's your decision if you take them or not. She takes her meds & back to sleep she goes. I figure I'd give the meds time to work before we spend the afternoon at the emergency room..
She wakes up feeling fabulous!
I took granny to get her Catract removed.. Her primary & heart doctors signed off on the procedure.. The anesthesiologist states he's not sure they can proceed.. Now keep on mind she is totally prepped, we've been at the hospital for almost 2hrs & he's not sure... I got a little irritated, told him all the doctors ok'd this and we are having it done..after looking at her chart he decided to move forward..
Surgery went well & she recovered fine. Now onto the next Catract. This woman is keing me hopping...
I have been giving granny chores to do just like she used to do for me...
She is doing her laundry, emptying & filling the dishwasher, cleaning her bathroom (make that light cleaning). She offered to water the fruit trees planted however she is still waiting to start that tomorrow..
I have found she does things to yank my chain.... She keeps repeating what I can't hear you, however she can her a small clock across the room chime... I stop repeating myself at that point & go do something else ..
I have found she can be irritable as can be with me but when my hubby comes home she turns on the charm.. He is wise enough to realize she does these things & they drive me crazy.
We have decided to treat her as if she is either 10 or 5 yrs old, depending on how she's acting.. Changes my whole outlook and my response with her for the better..
No matter how crazy she drives me I try to remember this is not the life she dreamed of when she was young. A lot of the things she forgets is not on purpose.. It is easier to find the hallmark channel for her than to make her feel bad because she can't remember how.
The beginning of August my hubby is taking her to her ( our) family reunion. I will be attending a wedding photography workshop on that weekend. Hubby understands how important this is to me & yet how important for granny to go to the reunion. I know it's not something on the top of his bucket list to do, he is willing to take her & also is going to take my commercial cotton candy machine, spend the afternoon making candy while she socializes. I appreciate him so much! His support of me & having granny live with us. He's a keeper.. Which reminds me of granny telling me I need to figure out how I'm going to hold onto him... I replied I've healed onto him for 33 yrs so it must be working... In my head I think I really should up my game...
Tomorrow my grandblessings arrive from Tennessee will arrive for 2wks. I'm excited for the kids (5 & almost 7) to get to know her, spend time with her & to take some pictures of them together.
We don't know how long any of us have & need to use the time we have wisely.
I am finally off the crutches & back to (my) normal.
It is a struggle with granny to take her meds daily....she gets up at noon, complains her left arm hurts.. I observe she hasn't taken her heart meds yet.. I mention this to her, my final words are it's your decision if you take them or not. She takes her meds & back to sleep she goes. I figure I'd give the meds time to work before we spend the afternoon at the emergency room..
She wakes up feeling fabulous!
I took granny to get her Catract removed.. Her primary & heart doctors signed off on the procedure.. The anesthesiologist states he's not sure they can proceed.. Now keep on mind she is totally prepped, we've been at the hospital for almost 2hrs & he's not sure... I got a little irritated, told him all the doctors ok'd this and we are having it done..after looking at her chart he decided to move forward..
Surgery went well & she recovered fine. Now onto the next Catract. This woman is keing me hopping...
I have been giving granny chores to do just like she used to do for me...
She is doing her laundry, emptying & filling the dishwasher, cleaning her bathroom (make that light cleaning). She offered to water the fruit trees planted however she is still waiting to start that tomorrow..
I have found she does things to yank my chain.... She keeps repeating what I can't hear you, however she can her a small clock across the room chime... I stop repeating myself at that point & go do something else ..
I have found she can be irritable as can be with me but when my hubby comes home she turns on the charm.. He is wise enough to realize she does these things & they drive me crazy.
We have decided to treat her as if she is either 10 or 5 yrs old, depending on how she's acting.. Changes my whole outlook and my response with her for the better..
No matter how crazy she drives me I try to remember this is not the life she dreamed of when she was young. A lot of the things she forgets is not on purpose.. It is easier to find the hallmark channel for her than to make her feel bad because she can't remember how.
The beginning of August my hubby is taking her to her ( our) family reunion. I will be attending a wedding photography workshop on that weekend. Hubby understands how important this is to me & yet how important for granny to go to the reunion. I know it's not something on the top of his bucket list to do, he is willing to take her & also is going to take my commercial cotton candy machine, spend the afternoon making candy while she socializes. I appreciate him so much! His support of me & having granny live with us. He's a keeper.. Which reminds me of granny telling me I need to figure out how I'm going to hold onto him... I replied I've healed onto him for 33 yrs so it must be working... In my head I think I really should up my game...
Tomorrow my grandblessings arrive from Tennessee will arrive for 2wks. I'm excited for the kids (5 & almost 7) to get to know her, spend time with her & to take some pictures of them together.
We don't know how long any of us have & need to use the time we have wisely.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
life throws you curves
So I seriously haven't blogged since 4/23.... Eek. I really have a great excuse.. I tore my meniscus in early April... Finally had surgery on what was suppose to be the first day of our vacation to Zion National Park in Utah. I put off blogging which was the best decision since I had a bad attitude toward everything, everyone... especially Granny...
As I was sitting on the couch, unable to move without crutches, I was getting a play by play description of the birds on the feeders.. What they were doing, how they were doing, where they flew to, etc. I quickly made my exit to the basement with my knitting, dt coke and peanut m&m's for the day.
As I sat listening I took notes, some of things are pretty funny....
Granny asked the nurse who was checking her pace maker: Why do I keep getting these whiskers on my chin? The nurse replied: hormones... Granny: I thought those were all dead.....
To me: You sing pretty good, you could be a Tiny Tim, tip toe thru the tulips.... It's time for a woman to be a Tiny Tim....
Granny: When my father in law got married to Helen, She had to go on birth control....
I was so surprised... I thought she was hoping for a bucket of starch on his side of the bed...
(I guess starch was the Viagra of the day)
Granny: If you stand her and take a picture of the neighbors home and send it to them anonymously, tell them we can't see their house because of that tree....
I replied, well all they have to do is stand & will be able to figure out who can't see their house....
you won't be anonymously anymore
After our joint hair appointment @ Karen's Country Cuts
Granny: Oh your hair looks so much better! It was long and stringy before....
I do believe there is a compliment in there somewhere..
Last week I made a doctor appointment because Granny was short of breath
She needed to get undressed for her EKG.
Me: you look really nice today
Granny: Well I even wore my bra & boob, it's uncomfortable, maybe you can carry it out
Me: There is no way I'm carrying your bra and boob out in the office....You will wear it home....
Then off to get xrays:
I park in front of the hospital, get the crutches, go in explain the ole gal needs a wheelchair.
A gal comes out and they wheel her around, down to xray, back to front door, I get the car, get home
Next day: talking to someone about her lifeline necklace....
Granny: I don't have my necklace.
Me: Where is it? When did you have it last?
Granny: why I don't know.
I narrow it down to xray, figures since I didn't go into the room with her this time....
We head out to the hospital.. I crutch all the way to xray to find out it is at the front desk......
Thankfully we got the necklace back. Now need to write her name on it....
Yesterday was the eye doctor appt:
Granny immediately made friends with another elderly woman & her daughter... She proudly proclaims I am 76 & I live with Julie....
The elderly lady says I am 82 & I live alone....
After both ladies (granny & elderly friend) went back to their respective rooms I chatted with the daughter...
Who is really the daughter in law, who is 72!! Her husband is an only child so they can't spread the joy of helping.
She is almost 20yrs older than me & we clicked right off. We have so much in common it was scary.
We are living the same life except she has to go to her mother's apartment daily....
We wished each other the best as we parted. It was refreshing....
Last night a group of girls (We missed you Cindy & Val) & I went to see The other woman...
I haven't laughed so hard in forever. It was awesome to get out & think of nothing, laugh with friends. I can be my catty selfish self & the girls don't judge.. I said something (which I won't share) My friends started laughing & said I'm so glad you shared that with us.... said something about it's out of your system now & you won't say it out loud....
Now those are true friends....
As I was sitting on the couch, unable to move without crutches, I was getting a play by play description of the birds on the feeders.. What they were doing, how they were doing, where they flew to, etc. I quickly made my exit to the basement with my knitting, dt coke and peanut m&m's for the day.
As I sat listening I took notes, some of things are pretty funny....
Granny asked the nurse who was checking her pace maker: Why do I keep getting these whiskers on my chin? The nurse replied: hormones... Granny: I thought those were all dead.....
To me: You sing pretty good, you could be a Tiny Tim, tip toe thru the tulips.... It's time for a woman to be a Tiny Tim....
Granny: When my father in law got married to Helen, She had to go on birth control....
I was so surprised... I thought she was hoping for a bucket of starch on his side of the bed...
(I guess starch was the Viagra of the day)
Granny: If you stand her and take a picture of the neighbors home and send it to them anonymously, tell them we can't see their house because of that tree....
I replied, well all they have to do is stand & will be able to figure out who can't see their house....
you won't be anonymously anymore
After our joint hair appointment @ Karen's Country Cuts
Granny: Oh your hair looks so much better! It was long and stringy before....
I do believe there is a compliment in there somewhere..
Last week I made a doctor appointment because Granny was short of breath
She needed to get undressed for her EKG.
Me: you look really nice today
Granny: Well I even wore my bra & boob, it's uncomfortable, maybe you can carry it out
Me: There is no way I'm carrying your bra and boob out in the office....You will wear it home....
Then off to get xrays:
I park in front of the hospital, get the crutches, go in explain the ole gal needs a wheelchair.
A gal comes out and they wheel her around, down to xray, back to front door, I get the car, get home
Next day: talking to someone about her lifeline necklace....
Granny: I don't have my necklace.
Me: Where is it? When did you have it last?
Granny: why I don't know.
I narrow it down to xray, figures since I didn't go into the room with her this time....
We head out to the hospital.. I crutch all the way to xray to find out it is at the front desk......
Thankfully we got the necklace back. Now need to write her name on it....
Yesterday was the eye doctor appt:
Granny immediately made friends with another elderly woman & her daughter... She proudly proclaims I am 76 & I live with Julie....
The elderly lady says I am 82 & I live alone....
After both ladies (granny & elderly friend) went back to their respective rooms I chatted with the daughter...
Who is really the daughter in law, who is 72!! Her husband is an only child so they can't spread the joy of helping.
She is almost 20yrs older than me & we clicked right off. We have so much in common it was scary.
We are living the same life except she has to go to her mother's apartment daily....
We wished each other the best as we parted. It was refreshing....
Last night a group of girls (We missed you Cindy & Val) & I went to see The other woman...
I haven't laughed so hard in forever. It was awesome to get out & think of nothing, laugh with friends. I can be my catty selfish self & the girls don't judge.. I said something (which I won't share) My friends started laughing & said I'm so glad you shared that with us.... said something about it's out of your system now & you won't say it out loud....
Now those are true friends....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)